Sunday, April 18, 2010

everyday there are things to be thankful for!

Today I am not going to put any of my deep dark thoughts or struggles. God knows that I have them and will continue to have them but today I have so much to be thankful for.

Greg and I were able to wake up to silence this morning. Yes, silence, no Mickey Mouse on the TV, no "mommy, I have to pee!" My lovely grandma took the girls last night so Greg and I could have a date night. Even though the date night turned into a 20 inning Cardinal game and a late night run to Taco Bell with our dog, it was nice to just get some alone time.

I made it to Sunday school this morning, late as usual, only without the excuse of getting the girls ready. I really do not remember too much of the Sunday school lesson this morning but what has stuck in my mind from it is: having a relationship with God, rather than just going to church because it is the right thing to do. (I'm really not sure if it was part of the lesson but we talked about it anyway!!) But back to the relationship, I have not always felt like praying since December 11th, but I do it. Even if the prayer is just "God, give me the strength to get through this day," some days that is all I can manage. God continually answers this prayer. Without my personal prayer and prayer from others, I do not believe that I would be where I am today. I am not always filled with an overwhelming peace and I do not always get through my days gracefully. I do however always know that I am not alone in this and I will not be alone after Olivia is no longer with us.

After leaving church we had a home cooked meal from Subway and I was able to get a 2 1/2 hour nap! Around the girls' bath time I received a text from my friend Yolanda. She was wanting to bring something over. She brought a card and a blanket for me made by a group in her church, God Sightings. I am so thankful for this thoughtful gift. I am even more thankful knowing that there are people praying for our family through this very rough time. Through this, God has blessed our lives with new friends, many of them we will probably never meet but we are still so thankful they have become part of our lives.

I forgot........
We bought an outfit last night. I'm not sure it's "the one." It was just a cute onesie, really bright yellow with bright pink flowers and I liked it. I might buy another outfit, I might not. I decided that every little girl deserves more clothes than she actually needs so if I find 10 outfits that I end up buying, it really will not hurt anything. I will just keep tags on outfits we do not use and donate them. This does not mean I will go buy a ton of clothes, just that I will not be limiting her options to one outfit :) I feel much better about the outfit issue now!

1 comment:

  1. I am glad you had quiet time. I don't always get through my days gracefully either, which is to be expected and allowed.
    I think the mentality you have about Olivia's outfit is awesome, and you never know. We bought Lilly two outfits to wear, one reg 0-3 and the other preemie. We didn't know which one would fit. We bought that the week before she was born and then we ended up having to send a framily to the store to get more outfits as we didn't plan on her being here much long after birth, and she ended up needing more outfits. So you never know. :) And I do believe the relationship with God is important as well :)

    love and prayers