The song "Had a bad day" keeps playing through my head, I'm not even sure if that's the right title. The song I'm thinking of is the one that played every time someone was voted off American Idol one year. Whatever the song is, it's the theme for my day.
I woke up, feeling pretty gross so had a shower right away. That was not bad, it woke me up more. We got Makayla on the bus, once again, not bad. Then I received a phone call from doctors office. The fasting blood glucose test that I had done yesterday came back, not good, now I have to go next week and sit for a 3 hour one. I have always had the "perfect" pregnancies, now this one seems to go from bad to worse.
I guess I should fill in the doctor appointment from yesterday. I am measuring bigger than I should so we have an ultrasound scheduled for Saturday morning. One of the risks of carrying a baby with anencephaly is extra fluid building up, polyhydramnios. A risk associated with this is preterm labor or water breaking due to the excess build up. SOOOO, I am not crazy when I say I feel huge since I am bigger than I should be at this point of my pregnancy! :) Had to include that.
Yes, I am throwing my "it's not fair" tantrum right now. I really do understand that life is not fair, I get that. I really wish I could move somewhere right now where people just do not get pregnant. After some thought though, I do not think a nursing home is a proper fit for our family. I will get through this, even if at times it does not feel like it but I will not feel bad for my feelings at this point.
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You should not feel bad for your feelings. You are definitely entitled to them. I hope your test turns out fine, and its possible it may. I am sorry that you had a bad day today. :( I wish there was something I could do or say. I admire you sharing your raw emotions. You are very strong.
ReplyDeletelove and prayers
elena